Where are you at in life? What do you need for yourself right now?
These are the questions I have asked myself over and over again when trying to decide something. This time I thought, I need this…. You all may be asking, need what? I needed to involve myself in something to help women feel more powerful, more beautiful, and stronger. That is why I wanted to be a Brand Ambassador. I believed in Rami and her mission for the group she was growing.
These past few years have been a struggle for me in many ways, mostly emotionally, and I think a lot of us are feeling it even more right now. So, when it came to doing my photoshoot, initially I was not really feeling it, I kept thinking about it almost with sadness, as that was the place I was in. I kept thinking things like: “I really need to lose a few pounds”, “I haven’t worked out in months”, “My skin is a mess”, “what am I thinking doing this, I look terrible”. And I am sure that those are all things we all have thought when thinking about booking a shoot initially, well I was there… But I had a shoot to do…
So, I decided, instead of dreading this, I was going to embrace it, have fun with it and just go for it. That was the moment everything changed. I started looking for outfits, and you can ask Rami, I must have sent her 20 may be more photos of outfits for my shoot. I couldn’t decide what vibe I wanted and what I wanted to wear. I have already done 4 shoots with Rami, so it shouldn’t be that hard… but it was. I wanted this one to be different, to be the one that set the others to shame. The one that felt me. But what was that?
Rami and I talked, and I finally checked out a lingerie site that she told me to, it was expensive but had exactly what I was looking for… and they were having a SALE. I caved and bought 3 outfits, when I sent them to Rami, she was so excited, and I knew this was going to be THE shoot. I started looking at photos and per her instruction started a Pinterest board with what I was looking for in photos. I had never bought a package with Rami before, not for any reason other than I didn’t think I was worth the money, but this time I decided it was going to be worth it, so I took the plunge! I made this investment in “ME” and that was all that mattered.
I prepped, got my nails done and my hair touched up and the day was finally here! I got to Rami’s and it was so welcoming, like always! Nicole was there to do my hair and makeup and we laid out my outfits and accessories for Rami to look at again, and as I kept looking at them, I got more stoked. As Nicole was doing my hair, we all talked and hung out, it was just like hanging out at your girlfriends’ house, relaxing and just being women together. Nicole is the greatest and really took my outfits into account for my hair and makeup and I looked amazing, all the blemishes and bad skin was gone, and my hair looked AWESOME!
When Nicole was done, Rami and I looked at the outfits and decided which one I was going to wear first the “warm-up” outfit, so to speak. Granted I knew this would probably be my main outfit, just because I had already tried it on and loved it so much!
We went live right at the beginning of my shoot to show the group some posing, which probably isn’t fair since I am “old-hat” at this and it is my 5th shoot. But every shoot is different, and I wanted to show everyone how freeing this experience is. And the truth of the matter is this shoot was different! I felt more myself than I had in years, the outfits felt right, the poses, and I loved it. I had gotten a playlist together and never used it because Rami had music on in the background, and honestly, I didn’t even need it. I was there, I was present, and this was going to make me feel awesome. Rami took me through the poses, and we moved stuff around to get the shots we wanted. We pulled up my Pinterest board throughout the shoot to make sure we captured the vibe I was going for. Rami wanted to make sure I was happy because this shoot was for ME, I had invested in myself and it was an amazing feeling.
I changed a couple of times, and Rami had to help me into a couple of my outfits, but by that time in the shoot, well you are super comfortable. She took the time to make sure we got everything, and it was great, I felt amazing, beautiful, powerful, and exhausted! MAN, some of those poses are TOUGH! But, totally worth it! When Rami shows you “THAT” shot on the back of the camera, and you know that is, you, RAW, no edits! There is just something about that feeling! It is powerful and exhilarating!
Once the shoot was over, I went home, I couldn’t do my reveal that day, but I was willing to wait. I was on pins and needles until I got to see my photos, I just couldn’t wait. I was nervous, what if they didn’t turn out the way I thought they did? Well They didn’t, they were so much BETTER! Going through them, I couldn’t believe it was me, but I knew it was. I looked AMAZING! I felt Powerful looking at them, I couldn’t stop looking at them….
These photos, at least to me, were the best I had ever had, and this was the heaviest I had ever been when getting them done. I knew then, it had nothing to do with my weight but with the “me” I was portraying, the confidence, the beauty the sexiness as all coming from the inside… This was the “me” I want to be, and I want to see every day. I had to choose my prints, wall art, and album photos and almost couldn’t pick my favorites, because they were all awesome. I can’t wait to put them up and see them every day!
This was ME, raw, unadulterated me, And I felt like a million dollars. Because I invested in MYSELF. I stopped judging myself and owned who I am!!