Things to do to help you feel seen and heard.
Do you ever find yourself feeling invisible? Maybe when you talk, others drown out your voice, when you write an email and sign off, someone replies addressed to the wrong name, suggestions you make never get considered until someone else says them, you always have to be the one to reach out, when you get gifts they’re for “the family” or “the house” and not for YOU.
You’re not alone. And you certainly aren’t invisible. These feelings are pretty common to have, especially for those of us who don’t like to draw too much attention to ourselves. But not wanting “too much” attention doesn’t mean you don’t want any. You still want to be acknowledged, addressed, spoken and listened to.
It can hurt so so much when you feel like a shell of who you used to be. When you feel like a part of the furniture or an extension of your partner rather than an individual with unique experiences and thoughts.
These feelings tend to amplify the more you think about them. You notice them more and more until you feel like your existence is irrelevant.
I’m here to tell you that you matter. You are important. There is no one like you and you deserve to be heard! To be cared for! To be the center of attention.
How Do You Stop Feeling Invisible?
There’s a lot you can do. First and foremost – breathe. Take the biggest inhale you can through your nose. Now hold it for a moment or two… and now slowly release your entire breath through your mouth. Repeat as needed until you feel safe and calm.
Now, what next? There are so many options you can choose from to help stop feeling invisible.
What To Do If You Only Have A Moment
- Post a selfie – post to your social media a selfie of you smiling. Add a funny or inspiring quote. Even if you don’t get many likes, you are putting yourself out there and people will see you.
- Assert yourself. If you receive an email addressed to the wrong name, don’t just gloss it over. Correct the person emailing you. It’s not rude, it’s not unprofessional. You can even think of it as a courtesy. Imagine how the other person would feel if they realize after a long time that they’ve been calling you the wrong name. By correcting them, you’re doing both of you a favor.
- Make a wish list! This one is honestly so much fun! Make a wish list on Pinterest or your Amazon account. Update it throughout the year as you see things you want. When it gets close to the holidays or your birthday, you can share that list as “gift ideas”. Don’t put things for the house on there (unless you really want them), put things that will make you happy.
- Take notice of your body. Similar to taking deep breaths, this is an acknowledgment of your body and where you are. Take a moment to close your eyes and focus on your body. Where do you feel the tension? Is your jaw clenched? Are your shoulders hunched? Take a moment to shake all of that out. After all, it feels good to loosen up!
What Can I Do If I Have More Time?
- Get dressed up! Put on an outfit that makes you feel amazing and do your hair & makeup (if you want)! You will feel amazing!!
- Since you’re all dressed up, go out! Take yourself on a date or ask your partner to take you on a date. I promise you, solo dates can be so fun! I used to go on them all the time! Bring a book and go to your favorite bar or restaurant. Sit down and enjoy a good meal and drink!
- Plan a party for yourself!! NO, it’s not vain! Who cares if you have a “reason”? Maybe you just got a raise, maybe you just had a birthday, maybe it’s a Tuesday and it looks pretty out! Plan a party about YOU! Invite your girls out to celebrate “working on yourself”! Make yourself the center of attention! After all, you DESERVE it!
- Blast your music and have a dance party! I do this in my car ALL the time! It makes me feel like I’m in a movie and honestly feels SO good! Go wild with your singing! Who cares! The people you pass by will probably never see you again, so go bananas (B-A-N-A-N-A-S!).
- Have a boudoir session! Okay, you knew this one was coming! But honestly, it’s one of the most validating things you can do for yourself. A boudoir session is entirely about YOU! It’s about showcasing your true, authentic self. It’s a full-day experience focused ONLY on YOU! When you walk into the studio, you drop all your roles. All your feelings of invisibility. All your responsibilities. You’re here to appreciate yourself. Even if you book your session in order to gift your partner the album, the experience is solely for YOU.
Healing With Boudoir
I’ve had so many women come in and cry when they look at their photos. Happy tears are constantly shed in my studio (don’t worry, we provide tissues 😉 ). From start to finish, you are pampered and treated lavishly. You don’t have to worry about what others want, only what you are comfortable with. When you’re in the studio anything you say, we will take it seriously. Suggestions, discomfort, ideas, you name it: we’ll listen. We’re here for YOU!
There are tons of other ways to feel less invisible. What are your favorites? Email me at: rami@blacklaceboudoir.net with your favorite ideas! We’ll share them in our VIP Facebook group to help out other women dealing with the same feelings.
And whenever you start to feel invisible or unheard, you can open up your boudoir album and remember how you felt during your session.
Just remember. You are valid. You are beautiful. You are heard. Keep on shining, babe.
Curious about booking your own session? Let’s chat! Use this link to schedule your free, no-obligation phone call.
Talk soon, boudie babe!
